Song Lyrics on a rainy Monday

So I'll stand

with arms high and heart abandoned

in awe of the one who gave it all

So I'll stand

my sould Lord to you surrendered,

all I have is yours

What can I say? What can I do?

To offer this heart O, God

completely to you?

The Wall

"Here's the truth--and this one is thouroughly Biblical: throughout life, you will face one situation after another that will be completely beyond what you can handle. Situations that force you to make a choice--either abandon God or worship him in the midst of a Plan B situation."

-Pete Wilson, "Plan B"

Okay, so my birthday was over Thanksgiving break and it was great. But ever since I've been back at school, it's really hit me just how OLD I'm becoming. The years of relying on Mom and Dad for everything are quickly dissipating and I've come to the point in my life where my decisions are MINE to make. Mom and Dad don't have much say anymore, because ultimately, my decisions affect me now. I really hate saying I'm twenty years old. I miss having the "teen" on the end of my age. Seriously. So, with this "old" age, I've been praying and growing through this book called "Plan B" by Pete Wilson. If you have not read it, please get it. The book is about what to do when your plan and God's plan don't correlate with each other--what to do when "Plan A" has to become "Plan B". The book has been so convicting because, as you know from reading my blog, I've always been the type that wants to have control over every situation possible...right down to where I'll be in 15 years, no big deal.
Well, the chapter I'm currently praying through is called "Darkness," and in it, Pete talks about a metaphorical "wall." Here are some of Pete's quotes that God has really used to open my eyes to the reality that those decisions I talked about earlier aren't really mine to make anymore.

• "A difficult truth to grasp is the reality that God loves us enough to strip us of anything that keeps us from him. Often, these things are good things. But, if for some reason they are keeping us from knowing God as we should, he may take them out of our lives."
• "The Wall represents Our will meeting God's will face to face...fundamentally, it has to do with slowly breaking through the barriers we have built between our will and a newer awareness of God in our lives."

Within the past few months, God has really been revealing to me a lot of idols in my life, and "stripping" me of them in order to show me that I need to focus on him. Luckily, Pete's book came at just the right time. As I prepare for many changes in my life here at PC, I just pray that God helps prepare me for my "Plan B" situations...which he already has in the form of summer plans. I really have a strong desire to work in an office with a high paying salary and benefits and weekends off, etc.. But God has really placed it in my heart to work in my church. So today, I applied for an internship with NewSpring in Florence and whizzed on by the application for the office in Florence doing Secretary work where I can stare at Facebook all day. Although to you, this sitauation may not seem like such a big deal, but to me, it's taking a huge step of faith. You see, I'm not notified if I get the internship or not until April. That leaves me 3 weeks to find an alternative plan if that's not what God has in mind for me...and a whole lot of waiting without knowing time between now and April 18th.

So basically, the whole point of this entry was to tell you to:

A) Go get Pete Wilson's "Plan B". right now.

B) Pray for this girl and her summer plans. And her inability to hand decisions over to anyone else.

C) Allow me to pray for you. I pray that you hand your decisions over to God and let him do with them what He wants. I pray that you trust God and that you take a step of faith and you see Him deliver in miraculous ways. I pray that for all of us, including myself.

Much Love,

Emma

PS: Exams are next week. Prayers up to the Big Guy much appreciated.

Peace and Blessings, Peace and Blessings

True Life: I haven't blogged in 2 months

In an attempt to avoid a 8 page blogpost updating you on what's been going on, I'm just going to show you all in picture.

A) Mallard Ball!!

For those that don't know, Mallard Ball is an ADPi function in which everyone dresses up in Camo and just has a great time. This year it was at Clinton House and the band, Big Swig, proved to be so much fun. Below is my beautiful pledge class! My Hott Date


B) Dukes of Hazzard

C) BID DAY! The best day in the whole world. The theme this year was "Just Did It" and it consisted of sweat bands, neon sunglasses, and some really awesome t-shirts.

Below is my fam, before we received our two new babies!

My awesome pledge class showin' off our pledge class swag

My wonderful new little sister, Kate! She rocks!

D) Halloween: me and my 101 sisters along with our President, dressed up as the 101 dalmations and Kat dressed up as Cruella Deville. Pretty amazing, huh?

E) Parents Weekend: First of all, may I just point out that Kate and I wore matching dresses and it was completely unplanned...we would.

My wonderful mom and step dad! They are amazing!

So there you go, the past two months.

I'll blog more when I have the time.

Much Love,
Emma

PS: 17 days until I'm 20!

Realities of saying yes...

So. I have a problem. And I'm going to share it with you in hopes that someone out there will read this and be inspired to avoid from encountering this problem.
What is my problem, you ask? Well, you see, I have the complete inability to say NO to anything. When asked to serve on a committee, lead a Bible study, volunteer for an event, etc, my immediate reaction is to say yes. Not that I don't genuinely want to serve on all of these things, I do! I just honestly do NOT have the time. Thus far this year, I have said yes to 2 Bible Studies, being on the executive committee for Up Til' Dawn (A fundraising campaign for Saint Jude), Student Council, Volunteering at Newspring, Bluefish, and being a Highlander for Sterlings (meaning that every Tuesday, at 3pm, this girl gives a tour. In an effort to avoid bragging on myself (trust me, this is not the point of this whole thing), I would love to encourage tips from the very few of you that read this blog; what is a girl to do? How does one learn to say NO?
It's so easy for me to say No to so many things; for example.
"Hey, wanna cigarette?" ...NO.
"Hey, wanna go water skiing?"...NO.
"Hey, wanna foot massage?"...absolutely not.
But why is it that when I'm approached about getting involved with something, my immediate response is to get so excited about it, and immediately to sign up? Don't get me wrong, I really am super excited aobut everything I'm involved in this year. There's so many great opportunities to glorify God through all of these amazing opportunities, but I'm worried about time management. Thus far, with all of this, I have one night of freedom in my weeks. That night is Friday nights. Every other night (excluding Saturdays) is completely full.
So, this is my advice to the 4 or 5 of you that read this blog that may or may not be struggling with this; learn to say no. Pray that God shows you what you need to be involved in so that you can give it your everything, instead of giving some of yourself to 5 or 6 things. It's better to do ONE thing really well than to do 5 things semi-decent. trust me on that. And hey, while you're sending some prayers up to the big guy, mind saying one for me, too? I've really been struggling with listening to everything God has planned for me, and what I have planned for myself, and differing between the two. Oh, and along all of that, keeping up with my school work. (PS: two papers and a test next week...blogging is going to be put on pause for the next week or so).
1 Corinthians 9:26-27 tells us:
"So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."

I've really been reflecting on that tonight and praying that God shows me where to run, how to discipline my body to be under control, and how to avoid worrying about everything at once. I'm learning to take a breath, maybe a second breath, and just taking it a minute at a time. Taking it a project, a paper, a speech, a test at a time, and doing my very best to glorify God in all of it. (Although I'm not quite sure how to glorify God in my paper about Oedipus and Gilgamesh...still trying to figure that one out).

Anyways, my whole point in all of this nonsense is this:

Learn to say no. Learn to pray to God before you get in over your head so that He will tell you what you need to be active in. Don't be like me and immediately say yes to everyhing...because you will soon find yourself with one night of free time, and an extremely confusing calendar.

I get to go home this weekend, and it's the last time I get to go home before Fall Break (which is at the end of October). Here's to a weekend of relaxation, paper writing, and some well-needed family bonding time.

Much Love,

Emma

Poetry

Oy. Just the thought of the word "poetry" has always sent chills up my spine. Well, as a requirement for my major, I have to take a poetry workshop class; meaning that not only will I be studying poetry, I will be writing and critiquing my own. So, let's recap:
I've always hated poetry. I've always been terrified of poetry. So, of course, now I have to study it and write my own.
Oh yeah...and my first poem can't rhyme. hmm..

Anywho, so the topic of said first poem for the class was to be written about a childhood memory. What usually comes to mind when people think of their childhood? Family vacations, brothers and sisters, and sports? I dont know. What I do know is what came to my mind...one word that predestined a whole decade of my existence...The Bowl Cut.
Ahh, the bowl cut. So just to catch you up with the story:
When I was growing up, I looked like a boy. Wanna know why? Well, for one, it was my inability to lose any babyfat until I was about the age of 16, how I was taller than any girl (or boy) in my grade for about 7 years, how my cheeks seemed to stay rosy red at all seasons of the year, and lastly, it was the thick-framed harry potter glasses that I sported from 3rd grade on throughout middle school. And on top of all of THAT...we add a bowl cut.
Mom, in an effort to provide herself with ease in getting me ready in the morning, decided one day that cutting my hair off would be a great idea. (Not exactly sure if that was her exact thinking process...I'm sure there was a positive motive in there somewhere) Well, in 5th grade Emma the boy went to sing in New York City. Story time number two:
Boy Emma gets on the tour bus, greeted by a sweet tour guide; a little old lady merely trying to deal with the fact that she had about 40 middle schoolers on a tour bus. So, this lady is introducing herself to each of us, and when she gets to me, out comes one of the most difficult sentences I've ever had to hear..."My, you're a handsome young man. What's your name?" You would have thought that she had just hit me over the head with a club. I cried the rest of the trip, and from that day forward, mom promised to never make decisions regarding anything about my appearance (which, when I became a teenager, she probably should have).

Now that you've heard the story, I'll let you stick to the mental image of all of that as I present to you, my first poem:

"The Bowl Cut"

Fifth grade, mom said it was time

for a hair cut.

A snip here, a snip there

In the kitchen, a top a stool.

Mom, with scissors in hand,

wacking away at the locks

once belonging to her little princess,

now belonging to her prince.

Uneven bangs

accenting the round crooked glasses

and rosey red cheeks of my awkward stage.

Choppy all around, a straight edge

ceasing to exist.

Oh, the bowl cut.

How I loathe you

for turning my awkward stage

into an awkward decade.

Don't be too critical...like I said; I've always hated poetry and have never understood it.

Although I wish I had a picture to put up with this blog, I think the mental image serves its purpose. Hope you enjoyed my little ode to my awkward stage. I'm sure you've had one too.

Much Love,
Emma

Fully Committed.

What does it mean to be fully committed to something? Giving it your all? Not giving up no matter the circumstances? Perservering through challenges to get to something much better...or something that you're unsure of?
The past few weeks have taught me what being fully committed to the Lord is, and it's been one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn.
So a few weeks ago I battled the whole "where does God want me" battle. I struggled with what he wants me to do and what he has laid out for my life. Being a Type A personality, I like to have everything in check. I dot my "i"s and cross my "t"s twice then look over my list once more. I like having a plan and I like when everything goes accordingly. However, I think I've decided that God is a type B personality. Even if He has a plan for my life, he spontaneously drops it on me and expects me to make do...something not so easy for us Type A personalities. However, this summer has taught me that going with the flow is just something I need to learn to do. Trusting God to show me what to do and expecting him to fight my battles along the way is so scary yet so inticing at the exact same time. Put all of my faith in this one God and expect him to take care of me for eternity. Simple command...difficult follow through.
I've officially been back at school for a week and I've been SO busy. Bluefish meetings and orientation activities have left me exhausted yet pumped up for my Sophomore year of college. Although coming in this year I have a complete different view of what I want to do with my life versus my plan last year (Biology is just not the major for me.), I am confidant that God is going to show me where he wants me. Until then, I just have to trust in him completely and pray that I have the patience to stay along for the ride until His plan falls into place. Do I know where I'll be a year from now? A week from now? Tomorrow night? No. But I have to just trust that God DOES and he knows what's best for me better than anyone else.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and from wrath; do not fret- it only leads to evil, for evil men will be cut off but those who Hope in the Lord will inherit the Land."
Psalm 37: 7-9

Pray for Patience and Trust in your amazing God.
Much Love,
Emma

PS: Classes start tomorrow and I could really use some prayers up to JC for some focus and stress-relievers this semester.

Loving, Learning, and Laughing

Where oh where has the time gone?

Looking at the calendar and realizing that I only have a week left at home sends so many emotions running through me that it's overwhelming. I feel excited that I get to go back to PC and see all of my amazing friends and the community that surrounds me, anxious about classes and responsibilities...but there's something else. An indescribable feeling consisting of every emotion possible to the highest degree...not happy but not sad.
Today was my last Sunday with the Florence Newspring crew for a few months. If there was ever a Sunday to go out with a bang this was surely the Sunday! They started their "I love the 80's" series and it was so amazing. (Something to add to the list of things I never thought I would ever do...dress in costume for church.) Looking back at this summer, I've come to the realization that I have grown so much as an individual...not just in my maturity, but in my walk with God. I've learned that MY plan is not always what HIS plan is...in fact, his plan is 100x better than anything I could ever imagine! I've learned that if you take a leap of faith into unknown situations (ie; The Gauntlet), the outcome can be amazing. I've learned that surrounding yourself with people who love God and have a relationship with him is necessary to have a healthy walk with the Lord. I've learned that patience is a virtue...something I'm still working on.
Most of all, though, I've learned that trusting God with my whole heart and giving him everything and every plan and every idea in my life is completely riveting. Hard, yet so rewarding. It's so awesome to know that God has a plan for my life and that, in due time, He will unravel it for me and reveal to me where to go. Until then, it's necessary to swallow the lump in my throat, jump, and just pray that my faith keeps me afloat.

The Gauntlet was perhaps the most amazing experience I've ever had as a leader...ever. 1400+ kids and leaders all worshiping a God who loves us more than we could ever imagine simply took my breath away at times. Looking from the back of the huge auditorium and seeing a group of amazing kids worshiping and singing and clapping and praying and dancing for a God who saved them and saves so many lives every day...there are no words to properly describe the chill bumps and tears of happiness that were brought to me every single morning and night.
I got to experience a sunrise baptism Thursday morning, witnessing the baptism of more than 250 youth...so awesome. I witnessed a girl in my own room committing her life to Christ and experienced the joy of sharing the word of Christ with her. I had so many awesome conversations with my small group and can't wait to see God work in their lives.

This summer, God has shown me his true power and his true grace, of which I'm so undeserving.

Less than the Least

One of my favorite stories in the Bible comes from a guy named Paul. Okay, so he may be no "minor" character, but still. His story is so awesome and at times, it's so relatable. Maybe I didn't persecute a bunch of Christians, but sometimes I find myself completely at awe with the fact that God chose ME. He mastered a plan for me and is slowly unfolding it for me. I'm so amazed at times that, in fact, I feel unworthy.
In my reading of Ephesians, I came across one of the coolest verses that I've read in a long time.

In chapter 3, verses 7-8, Paul writes:
"I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am Less than the Least of all God's people, this Grace was given me..."

In this, Paul is saying that all men willing to be servants are used by God. Sometimes, when we feel like we are worthless to anyone, God looks at us and sees us as Priceless...let that sink in for a minute. That thought alone is just so unfathomable to me! Even though God sees ALL of my sin and sees the depths of my heart, he still loves me and considers me PRICELESS...just look at what he paid for me..and you! Grace is such an amazing thing, and it hasn't been until lately that I've truly come to realize the depths of that word.

In 1 Timothy1:15, Paul writes
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves FULL ACCEPTANCE; Christ Jesus came into the world to SAVE sinners--of whom I am the worst."

Dont we all feel that way sometimes? I know I do! God has really shown me in these past few weeks as I prepare for The Gauntlet and for going back to school that he is the all powerful and that he knows everything so much better than I do and that, regardless of my actions, I am saved by his Grace. And I am so incredibly thankful for that!

One week from today...

I will be on a bus on the way to daytona beach, Florida. With 1000+ youth. For 5 days. And I'm sleeping on an air mattress.


Holy mess I'm so excited.

Then and No Matter What

"Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord, no matter what happens. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that God has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36
____________________________________________________

Just in the past few weeks, God has thrown me a complete curve ball. I didn't really know where to start this post, so I figured what better place than with an awesome verse he lead me to last night. It provided me with exactly what I needed to hear. However, with further studying of the verse, it also provided a lot that I didnt necessarily want to hear. With a quick glance of this verse, I get a feeling of easiness. "great reward" is enough to keep me going. But then, God brought my attention to two key phrases. The first being "no matter what"; meaning, the good and the bad. I'm learning that now in that my walk with the Lord isn't always going to be an easy one. In fact, right now it's been pretty uphill and curvy...we're talking mountain trail. The second thing that God really brought to my attention is the word "then." As in..."do all of these things and THEN you will receive something." It's not going to be easy; In fact, it's going to be pretty difficult. Remember that whole "test" I talked about the other week? Well, it's gotten even more difficult. I'm having to battle between so many obstacles that I feel like I'm alone...except for God. He's always with me. I'm so gracious that he showed me last night that I need to have patience and understanding, along with the confidence that no matter what happens, I need to have this confidence always. Difficult? Yes. Worth it? Definitely.
In times like these, it's easy to sink away from God and get angry when, in fact, He calls us to call on him in desperation! Sometimes, he brings us to that utter point of desperation in order to bring us to him. Maybe that's what he's doing. Whatever it is, it's working.
I don't really know where to end this post. I could go all day about how life is difficult right now, even though I still have SO many awesome things going on as well. Work is awesome, The Gauntlet is fast approaching, and thus far, summer has been pretty amazing....all thanks to the Big Guy upstairs. School is fast approaching and I don't really know how to feel about it. I guess we'll just have to see how He works this situation and morphs it into what is best for me to serve Him. Always.

Much Love,
Emma

Sometimes...

all you have is prayer.
all you have is your faith.
and all you have is your God.

Today, that is perfectly okay with me.

Tested

So ya know that blog post a few weeks back where I asked for a true test of my faith? Hah, well God has a funny sense of humor. These past few weeks have provided me with more tests than imaginable. For starters, persisting in my trust and strength in my Grandmas treatment. I just get a little frustrated sometimes that God hasn't given her some sort of sign to show her the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though it's the fifth of seven weeks of treatment, she just seems so discouraged lately, especially since her symptoms (rash, loss of taste, nausea) have really started to kick in full force. I continually pray that God will give her some sort of sign to let her know that it's going to be okay; I don't know if he's not providing the sign or if she's just failing to see it. Either way, it's super frustrating and it's taught me a lot about controlling my helplessness. That's truly been one of the hardest things for me to grasp in the past few months. How do I help when there's really nothing for me to help with? God has started to show me that sometimes our faith is all we really have to help us through situations; and sometimes, prayer is all we have to help us make it over the next herdel.
Because of her symptoms, Mom has started staying over there during most of the week to help my Grandpa take care of my Grandma and to just be there for them. Even though she only lives 20 minutes away in Florence, it's still been an adjustment getting used to Mom not being home all the time. It's taught me a lot about being selfless...My grandma surely needs my mom a lot more than I do right now and God has used this situation in a way to make me thankful for her when she's home and even when she's not. Something that I have always found really hard to say is that "I'm proud of my Mom" Not because I'm NOT proud of her, but because I don't have another word for it. It's beyond being proud of her...its admirable... with everything that she has going on right now, it's so unfathomable how one human can go to work, take care of me and my sister, still maintain her relationship with her husband, and still manage to cook and clean and maintain BOTH households... closest thing to superwoman I've ever witnessed! I don't know how she hasn't completely gone bonkers by this point. All I can say is that if anything ever happens that puts me in the situation of being a caregiver, I do half of what my mom has managed for her mom. (if you want to stay updated with my Grandmas progress check out her website www.caringbridge.com/visit/bettybakercarlson)

Secondly, I just want to reiterate that I truly have been blessed with some of the best kids to babysit this summer. But, again with the patience, God has provided me with the challenge to improve it. Sometimes, I just have to swallow that lump of frustration and calm down and explain to them...for the 700th time...the importance of not hitting your friends with foam baseball bats. Or why it's really necessary to close the door when you potty. Regardless, the happy times have outweighed the angry but I'm thankful that God has provided me with these opportunities to work on my patience and my ability to relate to these kids. Katie, the oldest of the three, and I had a really remarkable conversation the other week. I was outside watching them play and reading my Bible when she came up and started asking me about what I was reading. I did my best to explain my reading of Jeremiah and to my surprise she understood (granted, she got the cliffnotes version. Jeremiah is quite a lengthy chapter) most of what I was saying. It's so surprising to me sometimes how God pops up in the most unexpected places...like in the conversation with a 10-year old about her faith and how exactly we are supposed to pray and share him with other people. There's only one explanation for that...it's so God.

Thirdly, God has put to test my faith in a way that I'm still struggling with. He has pressed something so hard on my heart that it's one of those situations that it's like "Well God, this is going really great in my life and it's working out pretty awesome for me. Are you sure you want me to give you this?" And consistently, everytime, he responds with "yes". Dangit. I have just continually prayed that he helps me to let this thing go, but it continues to stay in my life. I need prayers from you guys (you know...all 5 of you that read this blog) that I gain the strength and courage in God to let this thing go because it's truly a life changing decision.

The Gauntlet is less than a month away and I'm growing more and more anxious yet excited! I get my own group of 4 girls and am responsible for them all week. Not exactly like camp because I'll have high schoolers, but more like Christian Chaperoning, I guess. I really can't wait to see what all God has in store for that week and I just pray that I'm ready to help share his word with young people and help them make a life saving decision...the best one I've ever made!

"But the Lord said to me 'Do not say 'I am only a child'. You must go to everyone I send you and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you', declares the Lord." Jeremiah 1:7-8

Much Love,
Emma

Cancer...

SUCKS

okay, but seriously. I don't know how my grandma does it. Nor my mom.

So much going on!

May I just apologize on my complete lack of posts lately? Things have been so hectic around here.
So, why in the world am I up at 9:47 on a Friday morning? Even better question; why am I blogging at 9:47 on a Friday morning? One word; three kids: Babysitting.

This summer, I've been blessed to be babysitting two 6 year olds and a 10 year old. At first, it seemed like I was way in over my head. But, this being the first week, I've learned so much about myself and about kids. First of all, something that I guess you can say I've re-learned is how big their imaginations are! For example, as I type, the three kids are playing surgeon with a dog, an alien, and a puppet. One has severe allergies to bird seed, one got cut while on a treasure hunt, and one fell out of his UFO. (I'll let you guess which one is which...quite frankly I'm not sure either.) The medical bill for all of this? $80,000,000,000...I think that's the right amount of zeros. Anyways, they currently have kleenex taped to their mouths as surgeon masks and are running around with legos as their surgical tools. Now that's how you play doctor! See the pic below for a picture of the surgeons...


Second, something that I've needed to learn; patience. Because I take them to the pool a lot, I have to learn patience. Whether it's patience with them in the pool, patience in how long it takes them to get in the car, patience on how slowly they eat their lunch, or patience on how long it taked them to take their swimmies off. I've learned to let them just do their thing...while watching them with a close eye of course! Although waking up at 6:30 every morning isn't my idea of "fun", I surely couldn't have asked for a better group of kids to babysit. They are so fun and barely fight (we'll see how that goes...like I said, it's just week 1).

In other news, I have rediscovered the wonderful world of self-selected reading! So far this month, I've read 3 amazing books: 90 Minutes in Heaven, Vision in White, and, my personal favorite, Letters to God. Although all three were really good, I definitely reccommend Letters to God. I didn't expect it, but it talked a lot about cancer and the questions associated with it. It's about a little boy, aged 13, who is diagnosed with brain cancer. Just a few months earlier, the family lost their dad in a horrible car accident. The book is about the family's struggle to get back on their feet while at the same time dealing with the boy's cancer. In order to vent, the little boy, Tyler, writes Letters to God and puts them in the mail box. Well, I won't give away the story, but let's just say they help a lot more people than you'd think. It's funny how God works sometimes. Like, how he can use a 13-year old boy to touch so many lives. Or, how he uses kids to show us our inner imagination again. Pretty cool.

I received some of the most exciting news of my young life last week, and I have to share it. The last week of July I will be going to Daytona Beach, FL for The Gauntlet; a youth trip with Newspring. There will be close to 1000 youth there and I have been asked to go as a small group leader! I'll have 4 of my own youth to talk to as small group, but I'll also help witness to other young people as well. I absolutely can't wait to watch God change so many lives! I'm nervous because, other than a few of the volunteers, I don't know a lot of people going. I just like to think of it as God's way of making me take that next step; although uncomfortable, it's what is necessary for me to continue my walk with him. I absolutely can't wait to minister to these kids and can't wait to see him do work. He is SO good!

That's pretty much all that's going on around here!

Hope your summer is going great;
Much Love,
Emma

Esther

So tonight I studied the book of Esther and it was so empowering! It made me crave an opportunity to prove my faith. I've always wanted a true test of my faith; not just a really bad week or a fight with a friend. A true test. Then it got me thinking...what would I do if I was truly tested? I would like to think that I would be Esther and stand for what I believe in and go against the odds...heck, for her it was against the law. Sadly, there are too many times in my past to count that I've gone against my faith..gone with what the crowd wants. I just hope that sometime, in the future, whenever my faith is truly put to the test that I pass with flying colors. I have a God whose love is SO unfathomable for me and who loves me regardless. Let's hope I'm strong like my good friend Esther and surpass my expectations.
Something else that is quite interesting about this book, and why it's not printed in every Bible, is that it's the ONLY book in the Bible that never mentions God, Worship, Prayer, OR Sacrifice. Whoever wrote this book is believed to have used that as a means of directing the readers attention to the fact that it is GOD who controls and directs all the seemingly insignificant coincidences that make up that plot of the book and the issue of deliverance of the jews. Sometimes it's so crazy to me that God is everywhere...he is everyone and everything I look at and observe. It's so crazy that at times I forget it and then He always has a funny way to bring it back into light.."Hey, Emma! I'm right here, and I'm STILL Great!" I just pray that one day, especially the day that I'm tested, I have the strength to stand up for my beliefs...regardless of what the crowd is doing!

What Gives you Strength in your faith? I want to challenge you to seriously think about this question. Not what gives you strength at school and in your relationships with your friends...what gives you strength in your faith? What would your response be to a serious test of your faith (like the possibility of death)? What gives you that CONSTANT assurance that God is everywhere? Think about it, and you might be surprised at your answer.

Much Love,
Emma

Weekly (uh, monthly?) update

You would think that being on summer break, I would have plenty of time to blog. Wrong. Anyways here's whats been happening...

After many weeks of preparation, doctor's appointments, and hope, Monday is the true beginning of the battle. Me-ma (my grandmother) is starting chemotherapy on Monday. As said by my mama "This will be the most difficult part of the journey." Up until the past few weeks, I've never truly known my grandmothers strength. Like I said in a previous blog post, our family has never really had to deal with this first hand, so I guess I've never had to see her strength be tested. But looking back on the last few months, as she's begun this battle with her cancer, I finally realized how crazy strong she is!

I will surely keep everyone updated but as of now, I just wanted to ask y'all to keep her and my family in your prayers!

Some of my "summer to-do list" points are being fulfilled! Chad and I attended Newspring's membership class and officially became members. I am SO excited. Furthermore, I'm getting baptized this Sunday. Originally, I didn't really know how to feel about it. Didn't I get baptized as a baby? Being Methodist, the idea of submerging myself in a pool of water in front of hundreds of people not only terrifies me, but makes me highly uncomfortable. But, then again, Christ died on a cross for me. My comfort, or His kingdom? (thanks, pastor Perry) I just consider it kind of the finishing mark of re-committing my life to Christ. After all, the Bible does tell us that after commitment, baptism is the next step. After getting over the original uneasy feeling, I can't wait for it. Like, just getting cleaned of everything and coming out a new person? That's a lot to swallow. Let's just pray I don't slip in front of everyone or something...I would do that.

Along with said membership, Chad and I decided to volunteer with the Fuse Student Ministry this summer and are going to observe tomorrow night in order to feel it all out. SO PUMPED.

I guess along with fulfilling the whole volunteering point of my list, this also fulfills staying strong in my faith. which leads me to...

Crazy Love. It's a book by Francis Chan and I can honestly tell you it's been so influential in my life lately. It basically talks about God's unfathomable love for us and how the American church has pretty much turned into something far from what the Bible tells us it should be. If you haven't read it PLEASE do. It is so amazing and will truly change your outlook about your faith and how you live life. No doubt.

I finally met the family I'm babysitting for this summer and I start June 7th. Although two 6-year olds and a 9 year old is going to be a handful, they're a fun group of kids and I honestly can't wait. Don't get me wrong, hanging out with my boyfriend and friends has been SO nice, I have been getting pretty bored lately. Having no money can be a problem. Let's hope the next few weeks go by a little quick like.

Chad finally found a job (after searching for months)...and FINALLY got texting back! Welcome to the 20th century! Anyone heading to Jiffy Lube in Florence give him a shout. no, seriously. Oh, and since you begged....Hey Dad. (there's your shoutout) Thanks for some awesome dinner tonight.

That's all that's been going on here lately, although I'll be sure to keep you updated if anything else happens. (Hoping to conquer this skiing thing sometime soon.)

Happy Summer!

Much Love,

Emma

Summer Goal List

So, out of pure boredom, I present to you my random list of things I will accomplish this summer:

1) i WILL learn to waterski. Or hey, I'm going to atleast attempt. This could get ugly

2) Start volunteering more; Habitat for Humanity, Animal Shelter, Medical Clinic...there are so many people in Darlington that need so much help. I'm so blessed so I think it's time for me to start giving back to a community that's given to me for so long.

3) Become a volunteer at Newspring; I just love that place so much!!

4) Continue to grow stronger in my faith; Being away from my PC bubble will be a little difficult, but with a little prayer and a lot of scripture, my walk with Christ will continue to persist...while hopefully bringing others along for the ride as well.

5) Get over appearances; whatever, so obviously I'm not going to be the skinniest girl on the beach. whatever. God doesn't care what I look like.

6) Go running more; As much as I hate to admit it, I really do get a little enjoyment out of running...after I'm finished. Why not kill two birds with one stone? Get my lazy rear end into shape all the while having more time to clear my head.

7) Start planning for next year; Sophomore class president, bluefish, and ADPi? Next year could get interesting. Let the planning and brainstorming commence...

8) Commit more time to being with my grandmother: I went and visited her and Papa the other day when I got home and it made me realize just how fast things change. I really need to buckle down and spend more time with her. Even though it's hard to see her sick, I don't want to have any regrets.

9) I will start saving. Money is tight...especially as a college student. I'm going to make the best out of what I get paid this summer, and glorify God with all of it. Which leads me to Titheing. God, I really need to do better. And I will; starting now.

10) Make it one to remember: Call me cliche, whatever. This year has truly made me realize how fast time flies, so I don't want to look back and realize that I had any time that went to waste. Here's to a summer full of worship, fellowship, volunteering, lake weekends, beach weekends, time with my family and boyfriend, and preparing for next year.

Something tells me that this summer is going to fly by and before i know it, I'll be moving into Clinton 3rd. I will make the best of it.

Good luck to everyone still in exams. Y'all stay safe!
Much Love,
Emma

8 months ago

8 Months ago, I arrived as an anxious freshman to a small college in a tiny town. Little did I know that the next 8 months of my life would go by so incredibly fast and little did I know that those 8 months would be some of the best of my young life. I'm not a freshman anymore. Wait. what was that? No longer a freshman? It's already over? Well, dang.
I don't think I can properly describe how much I have changed this year. College has brought about so many challenges, but with these challenges has come so many amazing opportunities to learn and grow in myself, and two-fold in my faith. So, what have I learned? Of course we have to do a list;
The Top 20 Things I've Learned as a Freshman at Presbyterian College:
1) Sorority life isn't what they show on TV: we don't sit in a circle and get drunk. It just doesn't happen.
2) Yes, you really do need to go to class.
3)...Yes, even if it's 8:00 on a Friday morning. Professors do pay attention.
4) When you go to college, your closet size easily doubles; no, not its physical size. Make friends with the girls on your hall.
5) Dinner at GDH is at 5. Period.
6) Exam week can either be really really miserable, or it can be doable. Keep up with your studies, and start studying for exams sooner than the night before.
7) There's always that one class that you will absolutely hate. (ie Linguistics) Suck it up.
8) There are people that are just like you at college. You just have to find them.
9) It's not as hard as you think it is to continue (or begin) your life as a christian once you get to college. It's actually so much cooler!
10) Forming your opinion and sticking to it is vital; grow a backbone.
11) Putting on makeup and getting dressed up for class every day just doesn't happen.
12) It's perfectly acceptable to wake up a 7:50 for your 8:00 class. Thank God for our small campus.
13) You and your roomate will not always get along. I mean, you're living in a 12x16 square for 8 months. What do you expect?
14) The Library isn't just for studying. Socializing happens...usually more than studying.
15) Sometimes, the chicken fingers in GDH are really spicy on Sundays. Proceed with caution.
16) Your Bonus Bucks disappear quicker than you think they do. Whoops.
17) Getting mail is like Christmas. Too bad it doesn't happen too often. Thanks, mom and dad.
18) You have to learn to take time for yourself. Go for a walk or go have quiet time with God. Being around people all the time will drive you insane.
19) The Belk Lobby is, and will forever be, one of my most favorite places at PC
20) You really do go to college and find your best friends. <3

On another note, now that classes are over it's time to begin the preparations for BEACH WEEK! wahooooo! So excited. I'll be heading to Garden City on Monday and returning Wednesday afternoon; hopefully bronzed and properly relaxed. Be jealous.

Much Love,
Emma

11 days

...and I'll be finished with my freshman year of college. Although when I think about it, my initial reaction is excitement and anxiously awaiting the arrival of summer. But, after this initial excitement has sunk in, I can't help but to get a little sad. No longer a freshman? It seems like I counted down to the beginning of this year for EVER...and now it's already gone? Well, dang. Thanks a lot, father time.
I'm not going to count down my top ten moments of this year...yet. We'll have to save that for a different blog post. However, I will tell warn those of you who don't know yet, how quickly time flies. And perhaps one of the most important lessons I've learned this year is that you have to take time to stop and appreciate everything around you, otherwise, you'll miss it. The next 11 days will surely fly by, but I can't help to get so excited for everything that's left to come in the next 3 years here at PC.
My last day of classes is on Friday. This Friday. 4 days away. Whoah.
Nope, still hasn't sunk in yet.
BUT as a means of celebration and a late anniversary present, I'm heading to Clemson to see Needtobreathe! (If you take a little look, they're in that playlist at the bottom of the page. Yepp, thats where the music comes from...) I'm so excited considering that it's my last hoorah before exams. and then moving out. for the whole summer. without my PC bubble.
Nope. Still hasn't sunk in.

Hope y'all have an amazing week! Just remember to take it all in!
Much Love,
Emma

I, Emma Reynolds

• am no longer a people pleaser.
• am ready for summertime.
• am growing stronger in my faith on a daily basis
• am slowly growing a backbone.
• am starting to stand up for myself.
• am living for God and no one else.