So ya know that blog post a few weeks back where I asked for a true test of my faith? Hah, well God has a funny sense of humor. These past few weeks have provided me with more tests than imaginable. For starters, persisting in my trust and strength in my Grandmas treatment. I just get a little frustrated sometimes that God hasn't given her some sort of sign to show her the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though it's the fifth of seven weeks of treatment, she just seems so discouraged lately, especially since her symptoms (rash, loss of taste, nausea) have really started to kick in full force. I continually pray that God will give her some sort of sign to let her know that it's going to be okay; I don't know if he's not providing the sign or if she's just failing to see it. Either way, it's super frustrating and it's taught me a lot about controlling my helplessness. That's truly been one of the hardest things for me to grasp in the past few months. How do I help when there's really nothing for me to help with? God has started to show me that sometimes our faith is all we really have to help us through situations; and sometimes, prayer is all we have to help us make it over the next herdel.
Because of her symptoms, Mom has started staying over there during most of the week to help my Grandpa take care of my Grandma and to just be there for them. Even though she only lives 20 minutes away in Florence, it's still been an adjustment getting used to Mom not being home all the time. It's taught me a lot about being selfless...My grandma surely needs my mom a lot more than I do right now and God has used this situation in a way to make me thankful for her when she's home and even when she's not. Something that I have always found really hard to say is that "I'm proud of my Mom" Not because I'm NOT proud of her, but because I don't have another word for it. It's beyond being proud of her...its admirable... with everything that she has going on right now, it's so unfathomable how one human can go to work, take care of me and my sister, still maintain her relationship with her husband, and still manage to cook and clean and maintain BOTH households... closest thing to superwoman I've ever witnessed! I don't know how she hasn't completely gone bonkers by this point. All I can say is that if anything ever happens that puts me in the situation of being a caregiver, I do half of what my mom has managed for her mom. (if you want to stay updated with my Grandmas progress check out her website www.caringbridge.com/visit/bettybakercarlson)
Secondly, I just want to reiterate that I truly have been blessed with some of the best kids to babysit this summer. But, again with the patience, God has provided me with the challenge to improve it. Sometimes, I just have to swallow that lump of frustration and calm down and explain to them...for the 700th time...the importance of not hitting your friends with foam baseball bats. Or why it's really necessary to close the door when you potty. Regardless, the happy times have outweighed the angry but I'm thankful that God has provided me with these opportunities to work on my patience and my ability to relate to these kids. Katie, the oldest of the three, and I had a really remarkable conversation the other week. I was outside watching them play and reading my Bible when she came up and started asking me about what I was reading. I did my best to explain my reading of Jeremiah and to my surprise she understood (granted, she got the cliffnotes version. Jeremiah is quite a lengthy chapter) most of what I was saying. It's so surprising to me sometimes how God pops up in the most unexpected places...like in the conversation with a 10-year old about her faith and how exactly we are supposed to pray and share him with other people. There's only one explanation for that...it's so God.
Thirdly, God has put to test my faith in a way that I'm still struggling with. He has pressed something so hard on my heart that it's one of those situations that it's like "Well God, this is going really great in my life and it's working out pretty awesome for me. Are you sure you want me to give you this?" And consistently, everytime, he responds with "yes". Dangit. I have just continually prayed that he helps me to let this thing go, but it continues to stay in my life. I need prayers from you guys (you know...all 5 of you that read this blog) that I gain the strength and courage in God to let this thing go because it's truly a life changing decision.
The Gauntlet is less than a month away and I'm growing more and more anxious yet excited! I get my own group of 4 girls and am responsible for them all week. Not exactly like camp because I'll have high schoolers, but more like Christian Chaperoning, I guess. I really can't wait to see what all God has in store for that week and I just pray that I'm ready to help share his word with young people and help them make a life saving decision...the best one I've ever made!
"But the Lord said to me 'Do not say 'I am only a child'. You must go to everyone I send you and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you', declares the Lord." Jeremiah 1:7-8
Much Love,
Emma
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
So much going on!
May I just apologize on my complete lack of posts lately? Things have been so hectic around here.
So, why in the world am I up at 9:47 on a Friday morning? Even better question; why am I blogging at 9:47 on a Friday morning? One word; three kids: Babysitting.
This summer, I've been blessed to be babysitting two 6 year olds and a 10 year old. At first, it seemed like I was way in over my head. But, this being the first week, I've learned so much about myself and about kids. First of all, something that I guess you can say I've re-learned is how big their imaginations are! For example, as I type, the three kids are playing surgeon with a dog, an alien, and a puppet. One has severe allergies to bird seed, one got cut while on a treasure hunt, and one fell out of his UFO. (I'll let you guess which one is which...quite frankly I'm not sure either.) The medical bill for all of this? $80,000,000,000...I think that's the right amount of zeros. Anyways, they currently have kleenex taped to their mouths as surgeon masks and are running around with legos as their surgical tools. Now that's how you play doctor! See the pic below for a picture of the surgeons...
Second, something that I've needed to learn; patience. Because I take them to the pool a lot, I have to learn patience. Whether it's patience with them in the pool, patience in how long it takes them to get in the car, patience on how slowly they eat their lunch, or patience on how long it taked them to take their swimmies off. I've learned to let them just do their thing...while watching them with a close eye of course! Although waking up at 6:30 every morning isn't my idea of "fun", I surely couldn't have asked for a better group of kids to babysit. They are so fun and barely fight (we'll see how that goes...like I said, it's just week 1).
In other news, I have rediscovered the wonderful world of self-selected reading! So far this month, I've read 3 amazing books: 90 Minutes in Heaven, Vision in White, and, my personal favorite, Letters to God. Although all three were really good, I definitely reccommend Letters to God. I didn't expect it, but it talked a lot about cancer and the questions associated with it. It's about a little boy, aged 13, who is diagnosed with brain cancer. Just a few months earlier, the family lost their dad in a horrible car accident. The book is about the family's struggle to get back on their feet while at the same time dealing with the boy's cancer. In order to vent, the little boy, Tyler, writes Letters to God and puts them in the mail box. Well, I won't give away the story, but let's just say they help a lot more people than you'd think. It's funny how God works sometimes. Like, how he can use a 13-year old boy to touch so many lives. Or, how he uses kids to show us our inner imagination again. Pretty cool.
I received some of the most exciting news of my young life last week, and I have to share it. The last week of July I will be going to Daytona Beach, FL for The Gauntlet; a youth trip with Newspring. There will be close to 1000 youth there and I have been asked to go as a small group leader! I'll have 4 of my own youth to talk to as small group, but I'll also help witness to other young people as well. I absolutely can't wait to watch God change so many lives! I'm nervous because, other than a few of the volunteers, I don't know a lot of people going. I just like to think of it as God's way of making me take that next step; although uncomfortable, it's what is necessary for me to continue my walk with him. I absolutely can't wait to minister to these kids and can't wait to see him do work. He is SO good!
That's pretty much all that's going on around here!
Hope your summer is going great;
Much Love,
Emma
So, why in the world am I up at 9:47 on a Friday morning? Even better question; why am I blogging at 9:47 on a Friday morning? One word; three kids: Babysitting.
This summer, I've been blessed to be babysitting two 6 year olds and a 10 year old. At first, it seemed like I was way in over my head. But, this being the first week, I've learned so much about myself and about kids. First of all, something that I guess you can say I've re-learned is how big their imaginations are! For example, as I type, the three kids are playing surgeon with a dog, an alien, and a puppet. One has severe allergies to bird seed, one got cut while on a treasure hunt, and one fell out of his UFO. (I'll let you guess which one is which...quite frankly I'm not sure either.) The medical bill for all of this? $80,000,000,000...I think that's the right amount of zeros. Anyways, they currently have kleenex taped to their mouths as surgeon masks and are running around with legos as their surgical tools. Now that's how you play doctor! See the pic below for a picture of the surgeons...
Second, something that I've needed to learn; patience. Because I take them to the pool a lot, I have to learn patience. Whether it's patience with them in the pool, patience in how long it takes them to get in the car, patience on how slowly they eat their lunch, or patience on how long it taked them to take their swimmies off. I've learned to let them just do their thing...while watching them with a close eye of course! Although waking up at 6:30 every morning isn't my idea of "fun", I surely couldn't have asked for a better group of kids to babysit. They are so fun and barely fight (we'll see how that goes...like I said, it's just week 1).
In other news, I have rediscovered the wonderful world of self-selected reading! So far this month, I've read 3 amazing books: 90 Minutes in Heaven, Vision in White, and, my personal favorite, Letters to God. Although all three were really good, I definitely reccommend Letters to God. I didn't expect it, but it talked a lot about cancer and the questions associated with it. It's about a little boy, aged 13, who is diagnosed with brain cancer. Just a few months earlier, the family lost their dad in a horrible car accident. The book is about the family's struggle to get back on their feet while at the same time dealing with the boy's cancer. In order to vent, the little boy, Tyler, writes Letters to God and puts them in the mail box. Well, I won't give away the story, but let's just say they help a lot more people than you'd think. It's funny how God works sometimes. Like, how he can use a 13-year old boy to touch so many lives. Or, how he uses kids to show us our inner imagination again. Pretty cool.
I received some of the most exciting news of my young life last week, and I have to share it. The last week of July I will be going to Daytona Beach, FL for The Gauntlet; a youth trip with Newspring. There will be close to 1000 youth there and I have been asked to go as a small group leader! I'll have 4 of my own youth to talk to as small group, but I'll also help witness to other young people as well. I absolutely can't wait to watch God change so many lives! I'm nervous because, other than a few of the volunteers, I don't know a lot of people going. I just like to think of it as God's way of making me take that next step; although uncomfortable, it's what is necessary for me to continue my walk with him. I absolutely can't wait to minister to these kids and can't wait to see him do work. He is SO good!
That's pretty much all that's going on around here!
Hope your summer is going great;
Much Love,
Emma
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